Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Curtains for the Left |John Prescott and His Mock Tudor External Beams

Curtains for all Seasons and Reasons

The exterior of your house speaks much about you. Yellowed net curtains of non-standard lengths say “chav” and “pikey”. Properly calico-lined curtains speak of “uniformity” and “understatement”. No curtains at all send mixed messages: With state of the art treble glazing they talk minimalism and the enjoyment of a room with a view. With single glazing they whisper “povs” wearing blankets to walk inside their winter houses.

Are We Blind?

Other messages are forthcoming from window blinds and your perceptions of them. You may hear your inner voice utter “trendy prat” or, upon closer inspection, reach conclusions about those behind them doing or not doing their housework. For we, those of us with experience of window blinds, all know how difficult they are to clean. Getting rid of muck from their many crevices is almost impossible.

The Flag of Saint George and the BNP

The flag of Saint George hung as a permanent, tacked up curtain - often set off with supermarket bags of garbage, put out the day after rubbish collection and/or ad hoc battered and burnt furniture, fixtures and fittings (for example: a burnt settee and the filthiest fridge you’ve ever seen) says right wing fascist scum in residence.

New Labour’s John Prescott

Predictably, (though we are prepared to stand corrected), the curtains of John Prescott MP are thermally lined and of the plushest velvet. Such is the aspirational to the purple taste of this once heroic man. Drug up to high station from lowly merchant seaman to stand-in, croquet playing PM in the days of Tony Bliar.

Two Jags to two shags with his penis parodied by a small cooked cocktail sausage in the gutter press, after a mucky affair and public humiliation and betrayal of his wife – his longstanding partner, her with the hair always perfectly Buffoned. Back to the the mock tudor beams:

John’s Mock Tudor Beams

What the ***k are Prescott’s Mock Tudor external beams saying to us? We are told that they speak from within the rules of MPs’ allowances and expenses, that these mock tudor beams are in the spirit. What spirit? That of the Parliamentarian democratic spirit. The what?

The Beams are Mocking Us

The same old, same old spirit of working and artisan class tax payers, paying for the haves to have more. To have more food. To have more warmth. To have more war. That's the spirit. In this outstanding case the mock beams shout CLASS BETRAYAL and NEW LABOUR HAVE HAD YOU!

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